left behind
She watched them as they slowly mended what was left of their broken friendship without her. She saw it all, from the angry glares and avoidance to the slow building of bridges. Nate stopped being so angry and Chuck stopped trying to get him to stop being angry and then they were both left just missing each other.
She understood it perfectly, Nate’s anger and eventual forgiveness. Sometimes it was harder to hold on to all the hurt than to just let it go. He could carry on being angry, but in the end he wasn’t only punishing Chuck, he was punishing himself.
She watched it all from afar, because she didn’t know how to do it herself. She didn’t know how to get her friends back; the only ones besides Serena who meant anything to her. Because before she crossed that line from ‘friends’ to ‘lover’ with both of them they were her best friends and it hurt to watch them move on without her…move on from her.
She was used to being left behind, her Dad left her for a man, Serena left her for redemption and then they left her for each other. It was easier for them to be friends without her, she knew that, but when she saw them together it hurt more than she realised it could.